Wellbeing · 6 min read
How to tell if your child is having trouble at school
Children don't always say when school is hard. Often the signs show up in behaviour, mood or avoidance first. Here is what to watch for and what to do.
Signs of learning difficulties
Every child develops at their own pace, but some patterns are worth discussing with the teacher, especially if they continue despite good teaching and practice [1]:
- Reading: trouble linking letters and sounds, guessing words, very slow or effortful reading, avoiding books.
- Writing and spelling: spelling the same word different ways, very short pieces despite good ideas when talking.
- Maths: still counting on fingers for simple facts in later primary years, difficulty understanding place value or which number is bigger.
- Attention and organisation: losing track of instructions, unfinished work, forgetting homework often.
Signs of worry or low confidence
Erica Komisar emphasises that anxious children often need calm, consistent connection from a parent more than reassurance that "everything is fine" [2]. Listen first, name the feeling ("It sounds like maths makes you feel worried"), then problem-solve together.
- Tummy aches or headaches on school mornings.
- Saying "I'm dumb" or "I can't do it" before trying.
- Meltdowns at homework time or refusing to start.
- Changes in sleep, appetite or friendships.
What to do next
- Talk to the teacher. Ask how your child is going compared with expectations for their year level, and what support is in place.
- Keep notes of what you see at home: when it happens, how long it lasts, what helps.
- Check the basics: have their hearing and vision checked, and look at sleep.
- Ask about extra support at school, such as small-group intervention.
- Consider one-on-one tutoring to rebuild skills and confidence with someone who can adapt to your child.
When to seek an assessment
If difficulties persist despite targeted help, talk to your GP or the school about an assessment. Specific learning disorders such as dyslexia are diagnosed by qualified professionals, usually psychologists, and early identification means support can start sooner [1][3]. Raising Children Network and SPELD organisations have reliable Australian information for parents [3][4].
If you're ever worried about your child's mental health, speak to your GP. Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is free and available 24/7 for children and young people.
References
- SPELD NSW. Understanding Learning Difficulties: A Guide for Parents. Source
- Komisar, E. (2021). Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety. Health Communications Inc. Source
- Healthdirect Australia. Learning disabilities. Source
- Raising Children Network. School-age children: learning and school. Source
This guide is general information for families, not medical or psychological advice. If you're worried about your child, talk to their teacher or your GP.